Creating Meaning as a Young Adult

Often for young adults like myself, measurements of success and meaning have previously been a continuous journey of looking towards the next thing, “I just have to get into a good school, get a degree and find a good job.” Then what? I like to think of it as climbing up a ladder and arriving in space; there are many opportunities, but very few natural anchors.

After a lifetime of the “checkbox mindset,” it can be jarring and daunting to be tasked with meaning-making. I often hear things from my clients like “I feel lost,” or, “I thought it would be different.” Here are a few things to consider when navigating this stage of life:

Normalize and get curious about negative feelings when our expectations don’t line up with timing and outcome.

We all come in with preconceived notions of what adult life is supposed to look like. Thus, it makes sense that we might feel disappointed, confused, etc. when our reality doesn’t match our expectations. If you’re feeling stuck or stagnant: What might be some of your fears around feeling this way? (E.g. “I’m afraid that no matter what I do, I will continue to feel adrift and unsure of myself;” “I will disappoint my family no matter what”). While it often doesn’t feel “good,” to be in this space, getting to know our fears and insecurities can lead us to our core needs and desires.

Cultivate a space where I can clearly hear my own voice.

What are the “shoulds,” I have around what makes a meaningful adult life? Do these “shoulds,” align with what I actually want in my life? Can I hear my parents echo the same shoulds for their life? Cultivating a space where I can clearly hear my own voice is learning to differentiate my own needs and wants from my family of origin. This can help identify what we actually want vs. what we believe we should want. 

Remember the places where I’ve felt the most relieved, compassionate, and myself. 

If meaning and happiness aren't always dependent on external milestones and achievements, what are the experiences and relationships that have felt meaningful to me in the past? How might I be able to incorporate aspects of these into my life now? Are there any barriers? Answering these questions can help us create a framework for building our own sense of meaning and purpose.

The work of intentionally creating meaning as a young adult isn’t always easy but can help us feel a sense of purpose and align with our values. If you'd like to see if this approach to therapy can work for you, set up an initial call with us. We are looking forward to hearing from you!

Sharon Yu