Grief and Loss
Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash
When I reflect on the past two years there are times where I catch myself feeling a sense of emptiness in my chest. It feels hollow and bare as if it's waiting for something to fill it. This absence — it wonders if it can ever feel whole again. When I call myself to be in relationship with this experience, I realize that I'm grieving.
While grief is often associated with death, it is a natural response to any loss that we may experience. This could be loss from changes in relationships, life transitions, or the impacts of systemic oppression. Over two years into a global pandemic we have experienced multitudes of loss — being separated from community and experiencing isolation, the postponement or cancellation of milestone celebrations, even sudden death and illness.
A myth about grief is that we only experience it for a brief moment of time. But grief has no time limit and we each have our own unique experience of it.
When I work with clients who are experiencing loss due to life transitions, oppression, and death, some questions I like to explore with clients are:
When you experience loss, how does it show up in your body?
What is your earliest memory of loss? How did your family and community influence the way you responded?
Who are you when you are grieving? What thoughts and feelings do you have towards that part of you?
Exploring and understanding who we are when we're grieving is challenging but healing. If you'd like to see if this approach to therapy can work for you, set up an initial call with us. We are looking forward to hearing from you!
Chris Datiles is an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor. As a recovering people pleaser, he supports clients in attuning to their needs, identifying their boundaries, and unlearning old patterns so that they can enjoy their creativity without burning out.