In contrast, youngest daughters are often thought of as spoiled, “the baby of the family,” and having it easy growing up. Although this can certainly be true, I often hear a different, more nuanced story from youngest daughters in the therapy room, and one that they have rarely had the opportunity to express. Like all of us, they carry traits with both highlights and lowlights, strengths and weaknesses, parts with gifts and burdens.
Read MoreThis combined approach is especially meaningful when working with cultural burdens. Many clients have internalized beliefs passed down through generations as survival strategies. First, we can honor the protective intention behind these parts’ beliefs; then, we can then help the nervous system release the intensity that keeps them locked in place.
Read MoreIn navigating conflict, I often hear couples get caught in “why” questions. Why did you do that? Why do you feel that way? Why does this keep happening? There is an understandable desire for causality or a clear explanation that will resolve the tension and distress in the relationship. Yet, the “whys” often pull couples out of their emotional experience and curiosity and into analysis, litigation, and defensiveness. Consider the difference between the questions why do you feel that way? And how do you feel? Or what does that feel like? A small shift in how you communicate with your partner (s) can have a meaningful impact on fostering a deeper sense of safety, openness, and a desire to understand.
Read MoreTrauma-informed methodologies such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) and NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) operate on the fundamental principle that:
Healing can occur once we understand and build relationships with the parts and survival strategies we have developed to navigate life
Read MoreOne is the descent — the deep, internal work of getting to know the landscape of your soul. The other is the ascent — the remembering that you are part of a web of interconnectedness with all other living beings here on Earth.
To me, to heal is to be able to stand in the present moment, holding both of these dimensions at the same time – the stories that make you uniquely who you are, and your undeniable belonging in the family of everything – without needing to change anything.
Read MoreA therapy intensive is a focused, immersive experience that helps you move through specific, targeted issues in a shorter period of time. If weekly therapy sessions are like rehearsals - where you practice relational skills and revisit the same materials to deepen your understanding and compassion towards your parts in the play - then an intensive is like a healing retreat for the parts of you that have desired an intentional time and space to be attended to.
Read MoreAnxiety, in the traditional sense, is oriented toward future threat - what might go wrong. Autistic rumination is often oriented toward clarity about the past or present - what actually happened and whether it was understood correctly.
This is often why reassurance doesn’t bring much relief. The system isn’t asking to be soothed as much as it’s trying to understand. What’s being sought isn’t comfort, but clarity - something that allows the interaction to feel complete.
Read MoreFor many neurodivergent individuals, online communities, such as those formed on Discord or in gaming spaces, have become powerful places of belonging. The rise of communities like How to ADHD reflects a shift toward embracing difference rather than masking it. We’re also seeing the emergence of more sensory-friendly and identity-affirming spaces globally, designed to reduce overwhelm and increase accessibility.
Read MoreWhat is relational trauma?
Unlike “big T” trauma, relational trauma is typically quiet. It doesn’t come from one catastrophic event, but grows out of repeated misattunement, inconsistency, neglect, criticism, or boundary violations in close relationships. Over time, these experiences can shape how we see ourselves and what we learn to expect from others.
Rituals can also provide a source of nervous system regulation. These practices allow you to connect with deep feelings in ways that are rhythmic, predictable, and contained. In building these traditions and ceremonies, you are invited to descend into the Self and tend to all that has been cast-away. Parts of you that feel distressed or disheartened can be touched and transformed without overtaking or shutting down other parts of your systems that you rely on. As you explore these ritual practices, they become cues for safety and calm in your system.
Read MoreIdentities rooted in changing circumstances, roles, achievements, and relationships can feel especially fragile. When those inevitably shift, it’s not just the external change that’s disruptive; the internal sense of self also feels unsettled.
Rather than allowing our identities to evolve alongside us, we may find ourselves oriented toward preserving a version of ourselves that no longer fully fits, creating tension between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming.
Read MoreMy sessions take place outdoors. In addition to my experience as a clinical counselor, I have backgrounds and training in nature therapy, yoga, mindfulness, somatics, and sound healing. I hold intensive sessions in nature because it helps our nervous systems relax. There are so many studies that show how spending time in nature reduces stress, anxiety, depression, and even cognitive challenges such as memory loss and symptoms of ADHD. But I really think it boils down to this: we are animals. Our nervous systems evolved in connection to the land. There is an undeniable natural homecoming that happens when we feel safely connected to the natural world.
Read MoreReligious deconstruction movement, particularly in the American context, has largely been shaped and pioneered by white voices. When many people read the stories and memoirs that describe these deconstruction journeys, a common thread emerges: the decision to choose individual freedom over remaining in community. For the BIPOC community, the faith community is often deeply intertwined with culture and family. Walking away doesn’t simply mean leaving a belief system; it can mean risking connection, heritage, and the social fabric that has shaped one’s life.
Read MoreThere's a version of OCD that looks nothing like the stereotype—no visible rituals, no organizing by color. Instead, it lives quietly in the loop of a thought you can't release, the compulsion to seek reassurance one more time, or the exhausting negotiation your mind runs on repeat: What if? But what if? Did I do something wrong?
If this sounds familiar, exhale. You’ve found a space that recognizes the burden you’ve been carrying.
Read MoreReassurance doesn’t reduce anxiety when the environment still requires performance. Cognitive reframing doesn’t calm the body when vigilance remains necessary. Even coping skills can unintentionally increase self-monitoring.
When anxiety persists despite insight and effort, women often assume they’re failing. More often, the system is simply responding to unchanged demands.
Read MoreAs late-diagnosed or discovered clients come to terms with their neurodivergence and begin the work of unmasking, the process is both liberating and interwoven with grief. There is a juxtaposition between feeling validated in finally understanding why you always felt “different” and recognizing the realistic expectation that your nervous system functions differently from your neurotypical peers and therefore needs to be supported accordingly.
Read MoreYou're seeking more than temporary relief. Perhaps you've tried self-help strategies that offered short-term solutions but left you wondering why the same patterns keep resurfacing. You want practical tools to manage anxiety, gently challenge unhelpful thought patterns, or navigate life transitions—but you also sense there's something deeper at play. You're drawn to understanding not just what to change, but why these patterns exist in the first place.
Read MoreBecause familial estrangement is a common and often painful reality, it’s no surprise that it frequently shows up in my work with couples. It might look like:
Partners from vastly different families of origin who struggle to understand one another’s experiences
An engaged couple discussing excluding family members from their wedding
Parents deciding whether to allow their child to have a relationship with an estranged grandparent
In this corner of the world, there remain very few spaces reserved for communal practice and care around grief. Death and loss have, in large part, been pushed out of our conversations and social practices. As a result, many of us find ourselves without any shared language, rituals, or community spaces to make sense of our grief. Outside of a memorial service, we are largely left to navigate these losses on our own.
Read MoreMany people come to therapy seeking support for what looks like depression, anxiety, struggles with substance use, or patterns that feel hard to understand. Over time, we sometimes discover that these experiences are rooted not in separate problems, but in the lasting impact of relational and developmental trauma that shaped how the nervous system learned to cope and survive.
Read More