Finding Your Center in Challenging Times: An IFS Approach
Life can be hard to navigate in the best of times, but as most people would agree, these are not the best of times. Depending on the intersection of privileged and marginalized identities we hold, our experiences right now might range from chaotic to destabilizing to truly unsafe.
When we experience uncertainty and threats to our safety, our protective parts naturally activate because it's their job to shield us from external threats and internal pain that can overwhelm us.
This is especially true for highly sensitive and neurodivergent individuals; sometimes, our brains, bodies, and nervous systems simply don't have the capacity to slow down and calm things when stimuli keep flooding in.
Take a moment to reflect and check in with yourself to see if any of this resonates with how you've been navigating life lately:
* You find yourself checking out when at work or even at home, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram/TikTok/social media as an escape from what's in front of you
* You find yourself doubling down at work or on personal projects, over-scheduling every possible free moment to feel productive and more in control of your life
* You feel more irritated in your relationships and find it hard to break the judgment/reactivity/guilt cycle you're stuck in
* You're more critical of not only the things you are doing but also all the things you feel you should be doing, whether to improve your own circumstances or to stand up and make a positive difference for others
If any part of you responded to one or more of these descriptions, it's important to remember that you're not alone and that these parts are responding in what they believe is the only way possible, given the circumstances.
Internal Family Systems can be an incredibly helpful approach during these challenging times because it offers a foundational understanding of the inherent goodness underlying even our most reactive strategies. In other words, there is nothing broken within you, even if parts of you might hold that belief.
By bringing attention and genuine curiosity to your protective parts and the pressured or extreme strategies they use when they take over, you can begin to understand what they truly fear.
Sometimes, you may even recognize how these fears they hold are based not only on current circumstances but on other experiences they've had to navigate throughout your lifetime.
Our true healing comes from remembering that we are not only our parts—we were born with a core Self. We all can access this core Self and let it support and guide our parts. In IFS, our core Self gives us access to qualities such as compassion, creativity, curiosity, confidence, courage, calm, connectedness, clarity, presence, persistence, perspective, playfulness, and patience. These qualities can help us navigate any season of life, no matter how challenging.
Of course, this process doesn't happen overnight for many but develops over time, often with an attuned therapist supporting our parts' capacity to build trust outside of those overwhelming moments. When we offer genuine presence and curiosity to our parts, they begin to trust our core Self again and feel less pressured to take over in moments of overwhelm.
Start working with an IFS Therapist in Highland Park, Los Angeles, CA
The beauty of building relationships with our protective parts is that even if they take over with their protective strategies (because they're just responding to cues from our nervous system reacting to unsafe situations), the foundation of trust we've built allows us to re-anchor within ourselves more quickly. With self-compassion, we can ebb and flow more freely, honor our capacity in each moment, and gently step into the next one with clearer intention. If you are ready to start working with an IFS therapist, our team of IFS-trained and informed therapists is happy to offer virtual and in-person therapy at our Highland Park, CA-based practice. Simply:
Navigate your differences with confidence!
Other Services Offered at Therapy on Fig
At Therapy on Fig, we offer therapy services that fit the unique needs of couples and individuals. In addition to IFS Therapy, we offer couples therapy, Grief and loss therapy in Highland Park, CA, Therapy for Empaths, Trauma Therapy, Teen Therapy. We also address related issues such as anxiety, stress management, and relationship issues. Whether you're seeking support for a specific issue or looking to strengthen your relationship overall, our therapists are here to help. Reach out today to learn more about our services and to experience how IFS therapy can work for you, especially if you are neurodivergent!
Sabrina Bolin is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT 144696), supervised by Sharon Yu. As a multiracial neurodivergent woman, she helps highly sensitive, neurodivergent, and creative folks relate to themselves and to the people in their lives with more compassion and greater understanding through a trauma-informed and identity-affirming lens. Reach out to learn more about our experienced therapists.