Identities rooted in changing circumstances, roles, achievements, and relationships can feel especially fragile. When those inevitably shift, it’s not just the external change that’s disruptive; the internal sense of self also feels unsettled.
Rather than allowing our identities to evolve alongside us, we may find ourselves oriented toward preserving a version of ourselves that no longer fully fits, creating tension between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming.
Read MoreMy sessions take place outdoors. In addition to my experience as a clinical counselor, I have backgrounds and training in nature therapy, yoga, mindfulness, somatics, and sound healing. I hold intensive sessions in nature because it helps our nervous systems relax. There are so many studies that show how spending time in nature reduces stress, anxiety, depression, and even cognitive challenges such as memory loss and symptoms of ADHD. But I really think it boils down to this: we are animals. Our nervous systems evolved in connection to the land. There is an undeniable natural homecoming that happens when we feel safely connected to the natural world.
Read MoreMany people come to therapy seeking support for what looks like depression, anxiety, struggles with substance use, or patterns that feel hard to understand. Over time, we sometimes discover that these experiences are rooted not in separate problems, but in the lasting impact of relational and developmental trauma that shaped how the nervous system learned to cope and survive.
Read MoreIn ATK environments, parts of us that cope by creating distance through movement are often normalised, even reinforced, by a shared culture of leaving. But in adulthood, this fragmentation tends to surface more clearly as relationships require authenticity, congruence, and self-awareness. Maturity asks something different of us: the capacity to stay, to remain present, and to repair relational ruptures as they arise.
Read MoreIf you grew up autistic without knowing it, you likely learned early that the world responded more warmly when you hid certain parts of yourself. Maybe you softened your voice, monitored your facial expressions, copied social cues, or worked hard to appear “easy,” “low-maintenance,” or agreeable. These adaptations weren’t vanity or superficial - they were survival.
Read MoreThe holidays have come and gone, and as the new year begins, many feelings, associations, and meanings may still linger. For some, the holiday season offered warmth, connection, and a much-needed pause after a long, exhausting year. For others, the days leading up to and following the holidays can stir complex, confusing emotions that don’t neatly resolve once the calendar turns. As the world rushes forward into January, many parts within us may still be catching up.
Read MorePositive affirmations can paradoxically create more distress. Rather than feeling empowered, they experience cognitive dissonance—an uncomfortable tension that arises when conflicting beliefs are held simultaneously within. The more vigorously one part of themselves attempts to embrace positive thinking, the more resistant another part becomes, as if an internal rebellion is taking place.
Read MoreIn Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we see that eating struggles are rarely about food.
They’re about protection.
Early experiences, especially the ones that left us feeling unseen, unsafe, or not enough, can plant the seeds of protection. Younger parts of us carry pain, fear, or shame that once felt too heavy to hold. Other parts step in to manage that weight through control, criticism, perfectionism, or numbing. These patterns aren’t evidence of brokenness. They’re evidence of survival: of a system that found a way to keep going.
Read MoreMany high achievers carry an internal narrative that sounds like this: "If I could just do more, succeed more, become more, then I would feel good." The problem is that the bar keeps rising. They hit one goal and immediately start reaching for the next.
This kind of internal system isn't flawed – it's adaptive. Somewhere along the way, these parts learned that being competent, successful, or impressive was the safest way to exist.
Read MoreOrthorexia is a lesser-known but increasingly common form of disordered eating that often starts from a well-intentioned place, yet can gradually consume a person’s energy, identity, and peace of mind.
Read MoreHuman beings are fundamentally wired for connection and belonging. While much of our cultural conversation around relationships focuses on romantic partnerships, the reality is that platonic friendships are equally vital to our emotional wellbeing and sense of self. For individuals with ADHD, navigating the complex landscape of friendship can present unique challenges that often go unrecognized or misunderstood, leading to cycles of shame, rejection, and isolation.
Read MoreMany of my clients discuss career-related stressors. While their industries, backgrounds, and lived experiences vary widely, almost all of them share a commonality:
Read MoreAs I work with clients experiencing body dysmorphia and disordered eating, I often witness how deeply rooted shame lives inside them. Shame doesn't appear out of nowhere - it is inherited, absorbed, and rehearsed in relationships, both personal and cultural. The parts of us that monitor our appearance, compare our bodies, restrict our appetites, or harshly criticize our physicality often have histories that extend beyond our individual lives.
Read MoreIf you have ADHD, you're probably familiar with that inner voice that seems to have an endless supply of criticism ready at a moment's notice. "You're so lazy." "Why can't you just focus?" "Everyone else has their life together except you." It can feel relentless, albeit reliable.
Some therapy approaches focus on challenging this inner critic—essentially trying to out-argue it with more reasonable thoughts. While this can be helpful to some degree, it requires sustained mental effort to ensure the "reasonable voice" consistently wins the internal debate. For those of us with ADHD and interest-based nervous systems, maintaining this kind of disciplined mental vigilance rarely makes it to the top of our priority list.
Read MoreAs an IFS and IFIO (Intimacy From the Inside Out) informed therapist and someone who has explored ENM in my own life, I’ve seen how vital it is to cultivate emotional safety, not just in our relationships but within ourselves.
One of my biggest takeaways is that it matters deeply whether we speak for our parts or from them, especially when we’re navigating the emotional complexity of non-monogamy.
Read MoreLife can be hard to navigate in the best of times, but as most people would agree, these are not the best of times. Depending on the intersection of privileged and marginalized identities we hold, our experiences right now might range from chaotic to destabilizing to truly unsafe.
When we experience uncertainty and threats to our safety, our protective parts naturally activate because it's their job to shield us from external threats and internal pain that can overwhelm us.
Read MoreIf you are struggling with disordered eating, your relationship with food and/or exercise has likely become a relentless cycle of control, guilt, and shame. You may feel a deep sense of not feeling "good enough."
Beneath the surface behaviors—whether it's restriction, bingeing, over-exercising, or purging—lie common core themes that often emerge in therapy: a deep sense of unworthiness, perfectionism, fear of failure, and an overwhelming need for control in the face of internal chaos.
Read MoreMany of my clients are struggling in their careers. Some have their “dream job” but grapple with long-held expectations that do not match reality. Others hold sought-after creative roles that feel stifling and antithetical to the creative process. Some feel trapped by “golden handcuffs” – they earn a great salary but are always on call, making work/life balance impossible to achieve.
Read MoreRelational trauma occurs when the people we trust most—those we look to for safety, stability, love, validation, and security—are also a source of significant psychological harm. This kind of trauma most often occurs in childhood from our caregivers but can extend into adulthood, particularly with romantic partners.
Read MoreAttachment injuries refer to emotional wounds that occur when a trusted individual fails to provide you with support, care, or protection during a time of need. Attachment injuries often arise from experiences of betrayal, abandonment, rejection, or neglect by your parents, caregivers, or romantic partners. In my experience, we all have an attachment wound, albeit of varying degrees, because no childhood is perfect. But when these wounds disrupt your sense of safety, trust, and connection that are foundational to healthy relationships, they can often develop an insecure attachment.
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