Blog

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, we see that eating struggles are rarely about food.
They’re about protection.

Early experiences, especially the ones that left us feeling unseen, unsafe, or not enough, can plant the seeds of protection. Younger parts of us carry pain, fear, or shame that once felt too heavy to hold. Other parts step in to manage that weight through control, criticism, perfectionism, or numbing. These patterns aren’t evidence of brokenness. They’re evidence of survival: of a system that found a way to keep going.

In a culture that idealizes clean eating, self-discipline, and wellness, it’s easy to overlook when a desire to be healthy begins to cause harm.

Orthorexia is a lesser-known but increasingly common form of disordered eating that often starts from a well-intentioned place, yet can gradually consume a person’s energy, identity, and peace of mind.

As I work with clients experiencing body dysmorphia and disordered eating, I often witness how deeply rooted shame lives inside them. Shame doesn't appear out of nowhere - it is inherited, absorbed, and rehearsed in relationships, both personal and cultural. The parts of us that monitor our appearance, compare our bodies, restrict our appetites, or harshly criticize our physicality often have histories that extend beyond our individual lives.

If you are struggling with disordered eating, your relationship with food and/or exercise has likely become a relentless cycle of control, guilt, and shame. You may feel a deep sense of not feeling "good enough."

Beneath the surface behaviors—whether it's restriction, bingeing, over-exercising, or purging—lie common core themes that often emerge in therapy: a deep sense of unworthiness, perfectionism, fear of failure, and an overwhelming need for control in the face of internal chaos.