The New Year Doesn’t Have to Begin with Becoming
The holidays have come and gone, and as the new year begins, many feelings, associations, and meanings may still linger. For some, the holiday season offered warmth, connection, and a much-needed pause after a long, exhausting year. For others, the days leading up to and following the holidays can stir complex, confusing emotions that don’t neatly resolve once the calendar turns. As the world rushes forward into January, many parts within us may still be catching up.
Because the holidays are so heavily emphasized in our culture, they often activate multiple parts of us—some hopeful, some weary, some quietly grieving what wasn’t. Internal conflicts and contradictory experiences can surface, leaving us feeling unsettled just as we’re told it’s time to “reset” and move on. From an IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy perspective:
This can be an important moment to slow down and listen. Every part of you has wisdom to share, and building relationships with these parts can help soften the internal tension that may linger after the holidays end.
The constant images of joyful family gatherings and effortless celebrations don’t disappear just because December does. Looking back, it’s easy to find yourself wondering, “What is wrong with me that my experience didn’t look like that?” I want to be very clear: there is nothing wrong with you. Comparison remains a thief of joy, even after the decorations come down. And as the new year begins, capitalism simply shifts gears. The message becomes: New year, new you. Gym memberships, clothing stores, and wellness trends thrive on the idea that dissatisfaction should be fixed quickly, that who you are right now is somehow not enough.
I want to offer a different message. It is okay if the holidays were quiet, lonely, tense, or simply underwhelming. It is okay if you don’t have a perfect family, or a family at all. It is okay if January feels heavy instead of hopeful. You do not need to pressure yourself to transform just because the year has changed. You survived another year, and that is enough. It is okay to move slowly, to reflect without urgency, to rest without turning it into self-improvement. If being around family brought up stress or complicated emotions that didn’t match the commercials, that makes sense. You are okay. It is just another day on the calendar.
From a NARM (Neuro-Affective Relational Model) perspective, you get to choose how much meaning and expectation you place on this moment.
As the year begins, consider reclaiming this season for yourself, not by reinventing who you are, but by honoring what you actually need. Order a large cheese pizza for yourself in honor of Kevin McCallister and finally finish that Home Alone marathon. Take your cat on a short adventure to see the lingering holiday lights in the neighborhood. Revisit the Die Hard trilogy, because after much debate, they are still holiday films, and maybe they belong in your January now. Whatever it looks like, you are allowed to create rituals and moments that support your nervous system and feel genuinely meaningful.
Start working with an IFS-Trained Trauma Therapist in Highland Park and Los Angeles
The post-holiday season can be a quiet invitation, not to rush forward, but to come home to yourself. You don’t need to buy into external timelines, expectations, or resolutions to begin again. Sometimes reclaiming the new year simply means giving yourself permission to be exactly where you are.
Reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation and begin reconnecting with every part of you, including the ones that may feel scary, overwhelming, and yes, suicidal.
Other Services Offered at Therapy on Fig
At Therapy on Fig, we provide therapy services tailored to the unique needs of couples and individual adults and teens. We offer Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy, IFS Therapy, Grief and Loss Therapy, Therapy for Empaths, Trauma Therapy, Couples Therapy, Teen Therapy, ADHD Therapy, Group Therapy, Therapy for Asian Americans and Therapy for Entrepreneurs. Whether you're seeking support for a specific issue or looking to strengthen your relationship overall, our therapists are here to help. Reach out today to learn more about our services!
Michael Hung is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #154058, supervised by Phillip Chang, LCSW #92156. He is trained in Internal Family Systems (Level 1) and in modalities rooted in a somatically-based trauma-informed approach, such as the Neuroaffective Relational Model (Level 2), Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO), and the Gottman Method.