The Myth of Laziness

It can feel overwhelming or daunting when you think about working toward a goal or making a change in your life. You might tell yourself you’re not good, brave, or motivated. A common thing I hear my clients say is, “I wish I wasn’t so lazy. If only I wasn’t so lazy, I could ___.” And with the thought, “I’m so lazy,” also comes possible feelings of embarrassment, shame, and frustration toward oneself. This thought can easily lead to a spiral of negative self-thoughts, almost as if laziness is a character flaw and why it’s impossible to move forward and make life changes. So it makes sense why you might feel so stuck.

When I see clients stuck in this pattern, I often propose a thought experiment: What if “laziness” wasn’t a concept or a thing in this world? How, then, do you make sense of what’s happening for you when you find it hard to make changes or get things done? This thought experiment often leads to answers such as: “It would mean I’m just tired and burnt out. I’m overwhelmed by the task and/or other things going on. I’m fearful of making changes. It would mean I don’t need to feel guilty about not being productive.”

What if, instead of seeing laziness as a character flaw, we saw laziness as the symptom of something deeper within us? 

For example, perhaps your feeling of laziness is a symptom of being burnt out and overworked. Are important needs such as restorative rest, sleep, play, or connection unmet? Are there other ways we can redefine our ideas of productivity and rest? Are there areas in your work life where you can set boundaries?

Perhaps your laziness is a symptom of feeling fearful or anxious about tackling a project or making a change. Does the project or future change feel tied to a fear of failure, a fear of disappointing others, or a fear that a negative self-belief will be confirmed? (For example, “if I don’t succeed at this, it’ll just confirm what I knew all along, that I’m a failure and I suck.”). Are there ways we can address some of these fears through reassurance, problem-solving, or creating a plan of action?

Exploring some of these questions can create more room for self-compassion and self-understanding. For example, when we see laziness less as a character flaw and more as a symptom of something else happening within us, it can lead us to a deeper understanding of what is happening in our internal world. When we’re more in touch with our internal world, it frees us up to make decisions and implement changes from a place of self-knowing and self-understanding rather than from a place of guilt and shame.

Sharon Yu