Navigating the Holidays as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
Photo by Nati Melnychuk on Unsplash
As the holiday season approaches, life starts moving quicker, and there doesn't seem to be much breathing room. Around this time, I hear clients share how overwhelmed they feel going into the holidays and their struggles to balance time resting and connecting with others.
The holiday season can be particularly challenging for those who identify as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs). HSPs generally experience more sensitivity to transitions and changes to their environments, such as daylight savings time, the subtle shift in tone or body language of a friend who is feeling down, or how different material might feel on their skin. Thus, individuals who identify as HSPs may feel increasingly overwhelmed during the holidays when there are often more social events and family engagements. If you identify as an HSP, and/or want to be mindful of how you show up this holiday season, what would it be like to tune inward during a season that often pulls us outward?
For the HSP who has battled with their sensitivity: what would it look like to accept and embrace it? In a society that tends to overvalue extraversion and being outgoing, sensitivity can easily be labeled as a burden, an inconvenience, a source of frustration, etc. When I hear HSP clients describe their sensitive nature along these lines, it usually indicates some internal conflict - a part of them is at odds with their sensitivity.
Explore the friction
Get curious about the parts of you that are concerned by your sensitivity. What are their concerns? Is it possible to work with sensitivity rather than against it?
Practice "Bookend Charging"
If there is a part of you feeling frustrated by how drained you feel after social time, this might mean extra quiet time and intentional rest before and after a busy weekend. In this, you are not ignoring your concerns about your sensitivity or rejecting your sensitivity.
Consider being highly sensitive a gift while grieving that it can also be limiting at times
Acknowledging and grieving that being an HSP can feel limiting at times might be needed before you can arrive at the place of appreciation. Allowing that process to happen can help you appreciate how being an HSP brings greater depth, presence, and thoughtfulness into your life.
-Sensitivity allows you to bring a strong passion to your vocation and relationships.
-Sensitivity allows you to attune to others, to know and be known in deep and powerful ways.
-Finally, sensitivity elicits thoughtfulness that guides you to find what is the most fulfilling.
What would it look like to trust yourself and your ability to assess your limits? If burnout around the holidays has led to fear showing up, can you validate how difficult things were when you took on too much? Ask this fear what it needs to develop trust so that you can gauge your capacity. For example:
I want to see myself…
-Establishing a ritual of actively checking in with myself and my energy levels
-Practicing being deliberate with my schedule and allowing myself to not say 'yes,' right away.
-Actively create more margin (rest time) to account for upcoming social time (e.g., bookend charging)
If this fearful part of you is willing to experiment and give you some room, thank it for that willingness and commit to building trust with this part of yourself. If you want to learn more about being an HSP, check out Elaine Aron's website.