What Does it Mean to Have a Non-pathologizing Framework?
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
What Does it Mean to Have a Non-pathologizing Framework?
Mental health has been getting a lot of attention these days, in questions around the impact of a global pandemic on mental health, celebrity news, and Tik Tok, to name a few. Increased discussion around mental health creates opportunities to de-stigmatize diagnoses, but it can also lead to more pathologizing and further create unhelpful stereotypes like “that’s so borderline,” or “you’re being bipolar.”
Having a diagnosis can bring up conflicting feelings such as relief, sadness, shame, fear, etc. Maybe the prospect of having a diagnosis brings up some of these for you; maybe you’ve received a diagnosis in the past and didn’t know what to do with it. Here are a few helpful things to reflect on both personally and in working towards understanding the people around us:
-How can I be curious about the good intentions behind “pathology?” In my work with clients, this is something we often explore. We have a tendency to create distance between us and the things we don’t like about ourselves. However, these parts of us are usually rooted in keeping us safe.
For example, to cope with growing up in a home with a volatile, alcoholic parent, a person may develop restrictive eating to gain a sense of control, which creates a sense of safety. The parts of us that appear “maladaptive,” or “unhealthy,” once had very adaptive roles. Recognizing the good intentions of these parts can help us begin to heal them.
-How can I use a diagnosis to gain tools and insight? You may feel discouraged when looking at diagnoses. A helpful reframe is that any diagnosis can serve us as a guide. It can give us tools and insight into how we operate in relation to ourselves and others. If you identify with a diagnosis, this can provide insight into how you respond to work stress, relationship conflict, etc.
E.g. I know that when friends say no to making plans, this triggers the fear of abandonment. How can I pause and ask if this fear can give me space to not get overwhelmed by it?
E.g. I know that when I isolate myself, my thoughts of suicide become more intense. How can I understand what triggers me to isolate? What is the purpose/ intent of these suicidal thoughts?
E.g. I know situations with crowds tend to cause me to feel anxious and want to leave my body. How can I remind my body I am safe in these moments? What are some ways I can ground myself and remain present?
-A diagnosis does not encompass all of who you are. There may be a tendency to feel like a diagnosis is our whole identity. Remembering that it is just one component of who we are as multifaceted, complex humans, can help ground us. How can you continually remind yourself you are more than just a diagnosis? How can you lean into self-acceptance and create a space that shows compassion and openness?
Lauren Lui is an Associate Marriage & Family Therapist. As a recovering perfectionist, she supports clients in accepting different parts of themselves by challenging assumptions around perfectionism, exploring family of origin issues, and breaking down unhelpful patterns and cycles.