Will This Feeling Ever Go Away?
Whether it’s in relation to depression, anxiety, or grief, I often hear this question from clients. Sometimes clients ask me this question during the first few sessions, wondering if therapy will be a space that can help an overwhelming emotion go away. Other times this question presents itself when a client feels exhausted, having experienced a certain feeling in their life for a long period of time.
What I share with clients is that in our time together therapy isn’t focused on finding ways to get rid of the parts of yourself that are depressed, anxious, or grieving — in fact it’s focused on gaining a deeper understanding of all parts of yourself. By understanding who we are when we are depressed, anxious, or grieving we give ourselves the opportunity to be in relationship with these parts. Through this relationship, we create room and the possibility to ask those parts to take up less space and less control over our lives.
The next time you find yourself asking “will this feeling ever go away?” consider taking some time to reflect on the following questions:
How do I feel towards this part of myself?
When you think about the part of yourself that is depressed, anxious, or grieving, take some time to think about any emotions or thoughts that are directed towards this part of yourself. This helps deepen our understanding of our own judgment and perception and can give us clues to what role we feel like these parts currently take on in our lives.
Where does this part of myself show up in my body?
Does the part of yourself that is depressed, anxious, or grieving have a pattern of showing up in the same area? For me, the part of me that stresses and worries always present itself on my shoulders and back. Get curious about what story your body is trying to tell you.
When does this part of myself show up?
Oftentimes clients share with me that the part of them that is depressed, anxious, or grieving shows up after certain events or interactions. Some clients share with me that those parts always feel present. What is it like for you? Gaining awareness helps us understand how much space it takes up in our life.
It may be difficult to accept that a particular feeling may never go away, but when we give ourselves the opportunity to understand the different parts of ourselves we find space to come back to our own agency. If you'd like to see if this approach to therapy can work for you, set up an initial call with us. We are looking forward to hearing from you!
Chris Datiles is an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor. As a recovering people pleaser, he supports clients in attuning to their needs, identifying their boundaries, and unlearning old patterns so that they can enjoy their creativity without burning out.