Before Therapy, There was Cultural Coping
A majority of the clients I see are first-generation cycle breakers. They are immigrants or children of immigrants trying to make sense of mental health and healing after a generation who had to focus on survival, acculturation, and assimilation in the U.S. Many were raised in collectivistic, shame-based cultures where therapy was never an option growing up.
While generational trauma is a common theme in therapy, I also believe generational gifts and strengths deserve to be highlighted and celebrated. As BIPOC individuals, we occupy a unique space where we sift through both worlds of cultural coping and modern mental health to discover what resonates for us.
Although this process can bring waves of emotion, such as anger, grief, gratitude, and nostalgia, we often arrive at the realization that our traditional and new ways of coping are not mutually exclusive. Instead, they can be woven together to create something stronger, more beautiful, and worthy of respect and appreciation.
Cultural Strengths Before Psychotherapy
As a Korean American, I often reflect on the lessons and coping strategies passed down through generations before I ever encountered psychotherapy.
Spirituality was one of those strengths. It provided my family with a sense of purpose and meaning amidst instability and trauma, while nurturing resilience and post-traumatic growth. Religious gatherings gave immigrant families community, belonging, and a home away from home. For many parents, they offered a way to stay connected to their roots while feeling othered in a foreign country
When children weren’t in hagwon, or tutoring, SAT prep, or extracurriculars, church often served as informal childcare for latchkey kids whose parents worked overtime. These religious communities were far from perfect and came with their own sets of traumas (a topic for another blog), yet my personal therapy has helped me hold space for both the good and the painful.
My grandparents and parents took me to seh byuk gi do, or early morning prayer at 5 a.m., modeling our culture’s resilience, dedication, and wholehearted devotion. For many of us raised in religious or spiritual homes, prayer may have been our first exposure to mindfulness and provided a quiet, dimmed place of no stimulation for highly sensitive nervous systems.
In my own therapy, and in sessions with clients, spirituality can be meaningfully integrated into approaches like IFS, if that feels right for the client. The Self can be experienced as an inner wise presence or a higher power. When appropriate, spirit guides, whether ancestral presences or non-human energies, can also be integrated as compassionate supports that help release legacy burdens.
Resilience and Withstanding
Another word I heard often growing up was chamuh, or “to withstand.” It reflects almost a “grin and bear it” kind of attitude and emphasizes endurance, hard work, and perseverance. It reminds me of the strong Korean women in my life, especially my mother and grandmothers, who had to withstand war and poverty.
Although they carried their han, or deep sorrow, injustice, and resentment, quietly within a patriarchal society, their dutifulness and stamina revealed a strength and dedication to family that I deeply respect. Like many Asian women I know, I’ve had to do my own work of unburdening while learning to appreciate the resilience I inherited. I can aim to dismantle unjust systems of oppression while also staying steady and strong for myself and my loved ones.
A Holistic Lens on Healing
In a culture that often stigmatized Western medicine, I grew up with more “natural” approaches like hanbang, or Eastern medicine. I still remember gagging as I drank dark brown herbal concoctions called hanyak and squirming as acupuncture needles were stuck into my hand, which was then squeezed to extract “bad” blood. I was given endless teas, vitamins, and skincare remedies suggested by aunties.
Looking back, many of the physical symptoms I struggled with were probably somatic expressions of emotional distress. Like many Asian women, I learned early on to carry psychological pain through the body, manifesting in symptoms like stomach aches, headaches, and fatigue, rather than to speak it aloud. My mother did the best she could with what she knew, and in her own way, she was trying to help me heal.
Though I’ve since embraced the benefits of Western psychiatry and psychotherapy, I also value the holistic perspective my upbringing provided. It taught me to consider hormones, the gut–mind connection, and somatic interventions like Brainspotting. Because of this, I approach mental health through a multifaceted, integrative lens.
A Connection to the Past
Processing generational trauma and the strengths intertwined within it is rarely simple. It takes years of reflection, self-compassion, and community to make sense of where we come from and where we’re going.
You may find yourself deconstructing and reconstructing again and again across different seasons of life. There might be times you reject certain inherited patterns and other times you reclaim or reimagine them.
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It can feel like both a privilege and a pressure to be part of a generation that can heal, self-actualize, and honor those who came before us.
Ultimately, therapy can be a place where you come exactly as you are, with all your cultural baggage and coping, and begin to make sense of the life you want to live.
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Honor and grow within the strengths of your cultural roots!
Other Services Offered at Therapy on Fig
At Therapy on Fig, we provide therapy services tailored to the unique needs of teens, adults, and couples. We offer Teen Therapy, Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy, Therapy for Empaths, Trauma Therapy, Grief and Loss Therapy, and Couples Therapy. We also address related issues such as anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, self-esteem, and relationship issues. Whether you're seeking support for a specific issue or looking to strengthen your relationship overall, our therapists are here to help. Reach out today to learn more about our services and to begin your path to healing, agency, and peace.
Rachel Kwon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT #144798). She integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS), Brainspotting, and CBT techniques to help her clients access healing from the inside out. Her work makes space for her clients' pain, resilience, and the unspoken wounds and generational gifts they carry forward. Reach out to learn more about our experienced therapists.