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Adolescence is a time of individuation. As kids grow into teenagers, so grows their desire for independence and control over their lives. If you’re a parent of a teen or pre-teen, you may notice increasing conflict with your child. They might seem more defiant, more likely to talk back, and more likely to push you away. Often, this conflict lies in the tension between your child’s desire for control and your own.

Adolescence is a ripe period of self-exploration and growth. As a teenager, you are rapidly developing – physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially – exploring and learning about who you are, what you care about, what you like and don’t like, and how you relate to the world. This can be dense, confusing, and challenging – and it can also be exciting, explorative, and playful with the right support.

Being a teenager is hard enough. Add a layer of mixed cultural identity, and the challenges can quickly compound. I've been there. Your parents just don't seem to understand you. You feel like they choose to see the worst in you and fail to recognize that your experience is uniquely different from theirs. Maybe you're often grounded, or reprimanded for things that you feel are normal. The values of your home don't mirror the values you experience at school. It feels like you are living a double life, expected to chameleon your personality depending on where you are, and nobody at school or home seems to fully understand. You know you don't deserve to be punished for just being you. You feel trapped, alone, and angry.