As late-diagnosed or discovered clients come to terms with their neurodivergence and begin the work of unmasking, the process is both liberating and interwoven with grief. There is a juxtaposition between feeling validated in finally understanding why you always felt “different” and recognizing the realistic expectation that your nervous system functions differently from your neurotypical peers and therefore needs to be supported accordingly.
Read MoreWhen clients prepare to visit home for the holidays, I often feel like a coach before a boxing match, reminding them of the boundaries we worked on together while they brace themselves for the visit.
Many describe the same experience: “I feel myself reverting,” or “I’m that little kid or teenager again.” Time at home can make clients feel as though the progress they’ve made in therapy slips back a few steps.
For BIPOC children of aging immigrant parents, relationships with our parents often carry a particular weight. They may have been close and supportive, strained, or even abusive, yet for many of us, the suggestion to “just cut them off” feels deeply offensive.
Read MoreA majority of the clients I see are first-generation cycle breakers. They are immigrants or children of immigrants trying to make sense of mental health and healing after a generation who had to focus on survival, acculturation, and assimilation in the U.S. Many were raised in collectivistic, shame-based cultures where therapy was never an option growing up.
While generational trauma is a common theme in therapy, I also believe generational gifts and strengths deserve to be highlighted and celebrated. As BIPOC individuals, we occupy a unique space where we sift through both worlds of cultural coping and modern mental health to discover what resonates for us.
Read MoreThe cultural value of noonchi (눈치)—an intuitive awareness of others’ feelings and expectations—teaches us to read the room and adapt ourselves accordingly.
For many of us, that creates a confusing internal tug-of-war: the pressure to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good versus the desire to live authentically and express who we are.
Read MoreMany survivors struggle with low self-esteem and tend to overload their lives with tasks. We chase perfection in every detail, as if a flawless performance can somehow erase the past. I’ve found it’s an act of radical self-kindness to choose one area of your life—or just one task in your day, to "take a B" on. This small act is a conscious decision to give yourself permission to be imperfect. It’s about choosing yourself over the frantic pursuit of external validation.
Read MoreFor many neurodivergent teens, daytime is a cacophony of sounds, stimulation, and neurotypical societal demands. On the other hand, nighttime may be the only time they feel calm, in control, and able to focus. It offers a sense of privacy and autonomy, and a time when they aren’t being watched, judged, or expected to perform. Night is also when some of their peers, especially other neurodivergent teens, are most active. This can make nighttime a prime time to socialize within neurodivergent or “neurokin” communities.
Read MoreWhen we create a safe and attuned therapeutic relationship, we invite those deeper narratives to emerge: stories shaped by migration, resilience, systemic oppression, and cultural pride. As AAPI Heritage Month comes to a close, I'm reflecting on the need for therapy that moves beyond the myth of the "blank slate" therapist towards a dynamic, colorful, and culturally informed practice. Therapy that truly serves BIPOC clients seeks to decolonize the healing process by honoring culture, intersectionality, and lived experience.
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