HSP Friendships and How To Navigate Them (Part 1)
Photo by Gemali Martinez on Unsplash
We don’t discuss it as often as we should, but friendships can be challenging. Especially for those who identify as highly sensitive persons (HSPs), friendship dynamics can sometimes feel stressful and overwhelming. HSPs have a high level of depth and attunement to our emotions and the emotions of others, are often sensitive to our environment and sensory output, and may become overstimulated more easily. Therapy for Empaths and HSPs in Los Angeles, CA can provide valuable insights for for navigating those emotions and the challenges it brings. Working with an HSP therapist through therapy can also teach you how to develop healthier, more fulfilling friendships.
Qualities that allow for rich, deep connections for HSPs can also lead to struggles within friendships. These struggles include worries about being a burden, overthinking, and difficulty setting boundaries. In a previous post, I asked what seeing our sensitivities as a gift could look like. In this post from us here at Therapy on Fig, I invite you to be curious about how the fear of being a burden shows up in your friendships. We will also look at what it may look like for you to extend compassion to the parts of you that are sensitive and how you may be able to work with them to find more fulfillment in friendships.
Fear of Being a Burden
When a friend is sharing they’re going through a hard time, do you notice a part of you wanting to hold back your own struggles or feelings? In these moments, is a sensitive part of you worried you may overwhelm the other person or that you’re just “too much?” Many HSPs experienced these wounds at an early age, implicitly or explicitly. Maybe you grew up with a caregiver who shut down your sensitivity by dismissing it (e.g., “You’re fine; don’t be so sensitive”). Or you grew up with a caregiver whose emotions and desires left little room for your sensitivity to be expressed, so you learned to stifle it. These experiences lead us to hold in what we think and feel to maintain a sense of safety and connection to our caregivers and subsequently impact how we might engage in friendships and relationships.
Holding Back in HSP Friendships
When I hear clients share that holding back in friendships is a theme for them, what also often accompanies it is a theme of disconnection; they more often than not leave time with friends feeling unseen and dissatisfied.
→ What messages have you received about your sensitivity/ being “too much?” What parts of you show up in friendships to protect you from feeling this way?
Validating Feelings and Emotions in Friendships
Ironically, sometimes our attunement to the needs of others misleads us– it may tell us that our friend needs us to hold back. There is a nuance to this; the level of support required by each person can fluctuate in friendships. But more often than not, what draws us closer and allows each person to feel seen is a mutual exchange of vulnerability. Without this, our friends may miss out on knowing us fully and feeling more fully understood by us.
→ Can you be curious about where the desire to hold back comes from? Could it be a subtle people pleaser that fears what happens if you take up space or a part of you that fears vulnerability?
→ Consider interactions and relationships in which you feel genuinely seen– what are those like? Did you share, and if so, how did the other person respond to you?
→ If you’ve experienced a lack of response from friends and subsequent disappointment, can you validate the experience of feeling let down? What would it be like to explore if/ how you’d like to move forward in those friendships?
Redefining Dynamics in HSP Friendships
There may be people in your life who are content with the current dynamic of you holding back and not sharing– you probably know or might have an idea of who those people are. Grief may appear around these relationships; perhaps they are essential figures such as a parent or sibling. In your friendships with those who felt safe and came to mind when considering the above question, what might it look like to share or be more open?
→ If a part of you consistently holds back, what would it be like to know there can be safety and connection in sharing? Are there friends in your life who feel safe to share more with?
Navigate HSP Friendships through Therapy for Empaths in Los Angeles, CA with Therapy on Fig Today!
If you find that your high sensitivity impacts your friendships or relationships, seeking therapy tailored to empaths and HSPs at Therapy on Fig can provide valuable insights and strategies. In Therapy for Empaths in Los Angeles, CA, you can explore how your sensitivity influences your interactions. You can also learn coping mechanisms for overwhelming situations and develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your needs. By working with an HSP therapist who specializes in supporting empaths and HSPs, you can enhance your relationships and find a greater sense of balance and well-being. Take the first step towards more fulfilling connections by following the steps below:
Reach out for a free consultation.
Speak with a caring HSP therapist.
Create better connections!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Therapy on Fig in Los Angeles, Highland Park, and throughout California
At Therapy on Fig, we specialize in providing a wide array of therapy services designed to support the specific needs of empaths and highly sensitive people. Our offerings extend beyond Therapy for Empaths & HSPs to encompass a holistic approach addressing concerns like trauma, anxiety, stress management, and relationship issues. Our focus is on empowering you to recognize and leverage your sensitivity as a unique strength while guiding you on a path of self-discovery and healing. Take the first step towards a more fulfilling life by reaching out to start your journey with us today.