Loss doesn't have to look significant to feel significant. Whether going through a breakup, moving to a new city, navigating friendships, or confronting a career transition, it is natural to feel overwhelmed by emotions when moving through change. It's that ache in your chest. The wave of sadness seemingly comes out of nowhere and brings you to tears. It makes sense. Things that once defined your identity are no longer there, leaving a void you're unsure how to fill.
Read MoreNavigating grief on a daily basis is already a tough experience. As you approach this holiday season, know that it is normal not to want to participate in the things that you usually would in the past. Grief and loss change us and our relationship with the world. It takes time to adjust to a life without our person, pet, and/or community, so give yourself permission to approach this time of year at your own pace.
Read MorePeople often come to couples therapy for premarital counseling, working through conflict, family planning, strengthening intimacy, and exploring changes in their relationship structure such as ethical non-monogamy. In the midst of this work, the inevitable may come—death, loss, and the grief that follows. This could be the death of a family or friend, pregnancy loss, the loss following a big move or an unexpected layoff, and the grief that emerges at witnessing and/or being impacted by violence and oppression that surrounds us.
Read MoreThe unexpected death and sudden loss of a loved one due to an accident, suicide, forced separation, or war ask the bereaved to confront two tasks: healing from trauma and metabolizing grief. In the face of trauma-related grief, the task of healing from trauma involves reprocessing memories.
Read MoreMany people come to therapy with an awareness that intergenerational trauma exists in their family. I often hear clients express a desire to heal and move forward from intergenerational trauma by trailblazing a new path. This "new path" might look like:
Considering a career change or pursuing past interests/passions.
Re-imagining a new life for the next generation, such as parenting your children or relating to your nieces and nephews differently.
Exploring identity development/formation and figuring out, "Who or what do I want to be?"
Grief can feel relentless.
“A part of me feels exasperated.”
“It’s so unpredictable and comes out of nowhere.”
“A part of me feels confused. One day I feel fine and then I feel so lost.”
“Grief is painful. It feels neverending.”
If you’ve ever said something similar in the midst of loss, it’s common to wonder if there is a solution for grief or a way to end or stop it.
Read MoreThroughout life, we develop relationships, attachments, and emotional bonds with people, communities, animals, places, things, and the roles we come into. Whenever these bonds are broken or severed—whether intentional, anticipated, or unexpected—we experience loss and grief.
Read MoreWhenever June comes around, I think of transitions. Students graduating on the last day of school, folks moving away from loving communities, projects wrapping up, cohorts or groups ending, and clients transitioning out of therapy. As we reach the end of something, it's common to be so consumed by ensuring we get to that endpoint that we forget to say goodbye or worry that we're not making the most out of the time we have left.
Read MoreWhen I reflect on the past two years there are times where I catch myself feeling a sense of emptiness in my chest. It feels hollow and bare as if it's waiting for something to fill it. This absence — it wonders if it can ever feel whole again. When I call myself to be in relationship with this experience, I realize that I'm grieving.
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